It’s a glorious day outside. Part of me is lusting to roll around in it, whilst the other, more sensible part of me is suggesting I sit, and get my to-do list done before I venture out. In this instance, I’ve gone with my sensible side. (As a compromise, I moved my desk outside and I’m soaking up the warmth as I tick off my to-do list.) Why? Because I’ve been procrastinating for a week and I’m at the point where I just want things to get D.O.N.E. and out of my head and off my list.
This morning I had a meeting with a woman who helps people get their lives in order. Business or personal she rolls up her sleeves and sorts sh*t out. Why does her business work? Because she’s helping people in a way that’s natural for her and invaluable to them. The result of her help with clearing people’s mental and physical space, allows them to let go of the checklist and focus on the bigger picture.
My zone of genius is different to hers. Her zone of genius is not the same as the next person. This is a key aspect of our society, community, and tribe. We all excel at different things. So why is it that we so often hold onto all the stuff that we’re not good at rather than asking for help?
I’m not sure about you, but for me, help was a word that I associated with failure or inability to cope with the twelve million things I had to do each day. I had a boyfriend who once said “I love you, and your to-do lists” which, truth be told, can be epic, and that’s not necessarily a good thing. Which brings me to…
Help . What a powerful and underutilised word.
We’re quite used to referring to a doctor about an illness or a company for a product that will fill a need. But, why do we overlook the things that impact our functionality at a personal level? Most women I know put others first. Deny their own needs and time out from doing all the time to just being.
Is asking for help really a reflection of your skill or ability? No, it’s not. In fact, it’s a reflection of your ability to admit that some things are not your area of expertise. Fundamentally your time and sense of well-being is worth more than the money you’d spend getting the job done.
Just over the past year, I’ve been asking for a lot more help, and the impact of these different types of help surprised me:
- I didn’t realise how much space in my brain they occupied, or how often they reappeared on the to-do list
- They were a hidden or invisible source of stress, which quite frankly I didn’t need
- By letting these things go I created more flow for other things that I could do with pleasure to enter my space.
And, on top of those three realisations, I got things done. Getting things done creates momentum, and momentum creates motivation, creativity, and expansion. From there on in, the sky is the limit.
How and where to find help
First of all, ask around. Ask friends, and people you trust and respect. Get feedback – the good, the bad and the ugly. Clarify what you need help with, exactly. Make time to have conversations with people who might be able to help. Ask questions, be honest, open, upfront. Assess how you can pay for help – with money, exchange of skills or time, products.
And what type of help might I need?
- Assistants whether virtual or physical will help organise your life. From filing, paperwork, invoicing, planning and scheduling, they will free up space for more billable hours.
- Business coaches can offer guidance and clarity on what’s working, what’s not and help you with a strategy and steps to execute it.
- Digital marketing and social media specialists will help optimise your online presence. In addition, they will create a plan to continue developing and evolving as both your business and social media changes.
- Experts. Anyone who can do something you’re either not able to physically fit in or absolutely hate doing. Don’t add anxiety to your mix.
- Life and purpose coach, they’ll help identify what you’re good at, what comes naturally and how they can be combined. They’ll bring an outside perspective of you.
- Financial education, so many of us have no idea. Create financial freedom for yourself and your future.
- Want to lose weight or make your early morning sessions at the gym more efficient? Get a personal trainer for a regular check-in and training plan adjustment session.
- Find a nutritionist to help outline what you’re missing and adjust your meal planning. As a result, you will eat food better suited to your body type and health goals.
- Cleaning, cooking, housework and other life stuff. It doesn’t have to happen every week. But having at least one or a few of those taken off your hands is a game changer.
- Rotate date nights or time out with parents of your children’s friends, schedule time off and time out.
And to recap: how will help, help you, and others?
- It will free up space in your head
- Release associated anxiety and stress (both physical and invisible)
- Open up time in your day, week, month
- Give someone an opportunity to shine their light and tap into their zone of genius.
The result = everybody wins.