Managing the C-word. Change
Change. Dealing with the dreaded c-word and answering the question – What the fuck do I do now?
The c-word, change and the question, “what the fuck to I do now?” has been circulating in my head the last few days. And today, I’ve been thinking about my next steps, which is a state I am sure that everyone can relate to.
Recently, I found out that I need to move from where I live. Which is both a great and annoying thing. It’s great because I haven’t been entirely happy for a while, but convenience prevailed. It’s annoying because I’m not quite ready to move. I’ll be honest, finding a house can be a pain in the butt. It forces you to look at all the things in your life that need to be evaluated, which can be an uncomfortable activity if you’ve let things lie for a while, like I have.
It’s unsettling to receive unexpected news, even if it is for the highest good. Thinking about the next steps always bring up all sorts of questions. The most obvious being where to live, which for someone who is prone to wandering, a tricky question to answer. Where to find this new location called home, even if only temporarily.
Remember, you’re exactly where you need to be
Change. How a 6-letter word can strike so much fear bewilders me. Change. Change can be good, fun, terrifying, nerve-wracking and also liberating. But change makes you look at your life through a microscope. For example, change requires you to look at your finances and getting an idea of what you can and can’t afford to do. And like most people, I’m not all that excited about keeping my financial house tidy. Which is ridiculous as money is essential and offers an element of freedom if you choose to accept it. Plus, keeping things organised allows greater accountability which leads to flow, and with flow comes abundance.
Yes, but what about all the other stuff in my life?
Then comes the age-old question, am I really happy in all aspects of my life? We have four main pillars in our lives – health, work/study/self-development, relationships and home, if one of those pillars is out of alignment then we struggle to find balance. And that imbalance will prevail until the pillar is brought back into balance. We’re only as strong and balanced as our weakest pillar, and finding out what needs to change or healed will help bring back that balance and strength. With balance and strength comes clarity and from clarity, answers to our questions.
Sometimes more than one pillar is out, which often is the case when we’re stressed, unhappy or unwell. Each pillar has an effect on the next. Not enjoying your job, this affects your relationships and consequently your health. Fear often drives our decisions, fear, for example, of quitting the job we dislike so much. Because without the job we can’t pay for our home unless we have support from our relationships – familial, or otherwise. But, money can be a cause of tension, especially if one person feels like they contribute more than the other. And so it continues around the pillars. Do you see the circle we so easily get caught up in? Amazing how everything is so interlinked.
So I’m out of balance, what do I do now?
All of this brings me back to the question I am currently asking myself. What the fuck do I do now? Well, honestly I don’t know, as the circumstances are different every time and for each person. What I do know is that finding the answer to situations require different approaches. Sometimes mediation or oracle cards work, other times it’s journaling or talking. Getting everything out of our heads is generally a good place to start. Fears get smaller, ideas bigger. Sometimes the more logical approach of the list of pros and cons of any decision works, but that requires options that you know are available.
But what if you don’t even know what the options are? Enter, the life recipe. In these moments I write a life recipe, a process that focuses me on what I absolutely have to have in my life, what’s negotiable and what I do not want. In fact, I’m doing one now with the question, what the fuck do I do now? Because quite frankly my options are vastly different from one another and I have no idea where to start other than with a recipe for the next chapter of my life.
Are you ready to make your life recipe?
Creating space for change
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and ideas. Gather momentum by focusing on what you do want in your life. Was wild and crazy as your ideas may sound. The best version of these wild ideas for you will appear care of your intention and the universe. The negotiable comes next, what would be great to have but non-essential, sometimes these ideas are the stepping stones to the must haves. And last, but certainly not least come the things that you’re not interested in having in your life, it’s good to be clear about what you’re not interested in moving towards, in all forms.
Once you’ve completed the three sections, leave the workbook for a few days. Let the ideas settle before reviewing your life recipe again, leave them to marinate in the back of your mind. After a few days, make some time and space to review the life recipe again. You might discover that you want to make some changes or tweak what you wrote, sometimes what sounds good one-day shifts to being not so cool the next.
Setting yourself up for success
Now, it’s action stations. Start planning your moves, to make things happen. Starting from the first few months, six and then nine months. Break down your ideas into smaller bite-size chunks, so they don’t seem so bloody scary. If however, your time scale is less than that you need to create timelines that reflect what time you have. From here it’s about support, ask your best friend or person who will hold you accountable to be present and hold the space for you to create this recipe. Report back to them, tick things off the list put a big fat line through the things you’ve done. Celebrate the steps you take, even if they’re sideways, backward, or diagonal. You’re exactly where you need to be.